What to get your minister for Clergy Appreciation Month
Gift cards and flowers are great, but here's what your minister really wants.
Clergy Appreciation Month is an observance that has officially been around in some form for about thirty years. It is intended to shine the light on spiritual guides, whose work is essential yet often invisible (outside of Sunday mornings) to most of the people they serve.
I encourage churchgoers to participate in some sort of recognition for their clergy such as an announcement in worship, a beautiful plant for the pastor’s office that only need occasional tending, and/or a gift card to a favorite coffee shop or restaurant. A modicum of gratitude for ministers’ efforts goes a long way in helping them know they are making a difference in the lives of people in their care and staving off pastoral burnout.
In addition to tangible gifts, though, I’d like to share how churches can really make clergy feel valued:
Things to do at a policy/administrative level:
Put in place policies that support pastors’ health and humanity. Ministry is different from jobs that have clear work/nonwork times and that don’t come with such heavy mental and emotional loads. Ministers need ample vacation, a sabbatical policy that is accessible at least every five years, parental leave that allows time to heal fully from childbirth (birth mothers, including those whose babies are born without signs of life) and to adjust to new home realities (all parents, birth and adoptive), and bereavement leave that helps them focus on grieving the loss of loved ones before returning to care for congregants.
Set salaries that are commensurate with education, experience, and tenure. Clergy don’t go into ministry for the money. At the same time, pastors are trained professionals and subject to the same economic whims (hello, inflation!) as everyone else. Churches should give raises when possible, and when the budget doesn’t allow for more pay, be generous with non-cash compensation such as paid time off.
Things all church members can do:
Provide specific, timely, constructive feedback. If you loved the pastor’s sermon, share after worship precisely what spoke to you. If you have a critique about a decision, go to your minister directly and soon with both a spirit of curiosity (“Could you tell me more about where you’re coming from with this?”) and a willingness to contribute toward resolution of the issue at hand.
Fully disclose up front what requested meetings are about. If you email your pastor about setting up a 1-on-1, be clear about the topic. Because clergy deal with so many people and feelings and responsibilities, they don’t automatically know what might rise to the level of a scheduled conversation for you. If you tell them, they can prepare and thus show up as their most helpful selves - and they won’t spend loads of time and energy imagining all the possible negative scenarios (a reaction that comes from unfortunately having been ambushed before).
Respect the pastor's sabbath. Clergy don’t have free nights and weekends like most people do because of the Sunday schedule, funerals, weekend ministry events, and evening meetings, so they have to carve out down time and carefully protect it. That is hard to do because they want to be available and helpful. It’s even harder when parishioners push to meet on that set-aside day or call and text in the evenings.
Regularly attend and participate in ministry opportunities. This lets your pastor know that you have prioritized church because - in this time of so many competing claims on your attention - you are being nourished and inspired to serve others. This is a great boon to a minister’s spirit.
Thoroughly read church communications. Ministers spend a lot of time composing churchwide newsletters and emails, bulletins, and worship announcements. Knowing that you are paying attention, demonstrated by responding in some way to the information being distributed, makes all that effort worthwhile.
Invite people to church. Pastors know that it can be hard for people to encourage their friends and co-workers to join them at church. They know that when you go out on that limb, you are doing so because you’ve found real community and want others to experience it too.
Let the pastor know when you are celebrating and struggling. Your clergy want to minister to you and with you, but they need to know how best to do that. Trust them with these important, intimate details and communicate clearly the kind of support you’re seeking since different people feel cared for in different ways.
Note pastor milestones. Has your pastor been at your church 1 year? Five? Ten? Name and celebrate your time together. Has your minister earned a new certificate or degree? Offer congratulations. Is it your pastor’s birthday? Lead a round of “Happy Birthday” during prayer requests.
The bottom line is that pastors are people who want to be seen and loved both as your leaders and as fellow humans. Pay attention to what matters to your clergy, and they will be effective and invested spiritual guides and companions on the journey.