The importance of welcoming and sending off your pastor well
Do not neglect these very important tasks.
In one of the churches I served, I was kind of introduced on my first Sunday. The senior pastor, who was a nice man and turned out to be a good colleague, got my name wrong. He also didn’t explain to the congregation what role I’d be taking on. (I didn’t really understand it fully myself for a while.)
In a church I left under duress, my departure wasn’t even mentioned in the congregation at large. I resigned and worked a notice, but my last Sunday was Easter, and I imagine the senior pastor couldn’t figure out a good way to acknowledge my exit in the midst of the rightful celebration of the day. (There were cards and well wishes and apologies from individuals who knew the situation.) The staff took me out for a very awkward lunch on my final weekday in the office.
Beginnings and endings of pastorates are very important. A warm, intentional welcome signifies that a new season in the life of the church has begun. It stokes everyone’s excitement for what is to come. It confirms for the minister (and family, if applicable) that this move to this church was a good one. It helps build the bond needed for clergy and congregation’s mutual ministry. When this hospitality is not extended to the pastor as a person, there’s a danger that the relationship between pastor and parishioners will become transactional - “You are here to do ministry for us” - rather than a journey together toward a shared vocation.
When a pastor leaves, a good send-off is essential. It doesn’t have to be a big blowout. It does need to be thoughtfully planned, not just a sad box of doughnuts in the fellowship hall for the 15 minutes between worship services. When a departing minister feels seen - and hopefully appreciated - this facilitates that person’s transition into what comes next. But this sense of closure is not just for the clergyperson. The congregation also needs the chance to say goodbye so that they can turn the page and be ready to open their hearts to a new leader. When a real farewell doesn’t happen, pastor and parishioners carry more baggage forward than they had to, and this distracts from ministry.
This is an article as much for clergy as it is for congregations. I do not like being the center of attention. I would much rather sneak in and out the back door. (In many ways, I was very grateful that that hard exit was an under-the-radar one.) But I also know how crucial marking change and honoring relationships are, so I have been grateful for every good hello and goodbye I’ve had. Here are a couple:
In my first call, the church held a “pounding” for me. (I was new to this concept; basically it’s stocking someone’s pantry.) I was 25 years old and moved to North Carolina with next to nothing. After the pounding, though, my shelves and refrigerator were full, and I had cookie sheets! and utensils! It was such a practical way of not just showing care but also gently saying, “We know you’re new to this. That’s ok.” The food was really helpful too, because I got paid once a month, and due to timing, that first payday was several weeks away.
In my last church, the congregation took up a love offering that was so generous that it carried me through getting my coaching practice up and running. They gave me cards that told stories of what our ministry together had meant to them. They invited my parents and in-laws to a reception in my honor, which was beautiful and delicious and full of people from all the generations, even though my primary ministry was with youth. My heart was full. I knew I’d done good work, and I also knew how much this church had taught me personally and professionally.
Congregations, consider what your incoming pastors need to feel connected to you and to your ministry together. Clergy, don’t say no to plans your parishioners make to fete you unless there’s good reason to do so. Everyone will benefit from these spaces and times to say and embody important feelings.