Thank goodness for the GPS
I don't miss paper directions at all.
It’s hard to fathom now that when I started driving, my navigational options were a trusty paper map or turn-by-turn directions printed off from Mapquest. (I opted for the latter, because my sense of direction is not so great.) I remember getting lost one stressful night driving through the North Carolina mountains, the snow just starting to spit. Because cell phones were also still more of an emergency lifeline at that time - and I had no bars - I thought I might die there.
I didn’t, obviously. And I’m grateful for the GPS technology available now. Sometimes I grit my teeth when the GPS tells me to turn here when I’d rather turn there! But all my ire melts away when my device re-routes me because traffic is slowing ahead or when it automatically recalculates my route if I’ve taken a wrong turn. Though I can’t let myself linger too long on the creepy surveillance aspect, most of the time I am so glad that the GPS always knows where I am and that it can see the journey unfolding in front of me.
This helps me think about how I understand God’s involvement in my life. God can always see me. God is always available and willing to advise me. When I am stubborn and resist one good way forward, God is there to take me from where I’ve gotten myself into a pickle to a good destination. And goodness knows how many times God has smoothed the road ahead without me even realizing it.
Early in my ministry I took a job that was not a good fit. I wanted it to be a good fit, because I had gone a stretch without a full-time salary. So I brute-forced it, even though there were warning signs throughout the interview process. I finally admitted to myself I’d made a mistake the day before I started, but I couldn’t imagine backing out at that point.
The job was bad from day one. After all, it wasn’t a match for my call and skill set. And the church had some systemic issues it was avoiding. Those two realities were on a collision course, and it was a slow-rolling disaster - until it was quick and explosive and final.
I accepted this role out of wounded pride and misplaced sense of identity. (I needed to be able to contribute more to my household. I needed to be seen as a “real” minister again.) By the end, I was in worse shape in both areas.
But even though I had taken a different turn than God was encouraging, God still had a lock on my position. God took into account where I was - well off my intended path - and was already recalculating on my behalf.
So while I graduated from seminary and took my first call in 2002, I got a glorious re-route in 2008 after my failed position. I love this road I’m on now. I wouldn’t double-back if you paid me, but I also wouldn’t change the path to here, no matter how loudly and frequently the GPS told me it was RECALCULATING. I learned so much about myself and my call to ministry.
If you feel like you’ve made a wrong turn, I have good news. God sees you and sees the road ahead. God stands ready to guide you from where you are right now. And all that you’ve seen and experienced during your wandering? It’s not lost. It’s part of you now, and it can help you know which direction is which.